Characteristics of Autistic Women

Five Characteristics of Autistic Women

Interests / Talking / Masking / Social / Appearance

AUTISTIC WOMEN EVERYWHERE

Sharing Our Lived Experience of Autism Worldwide

Interests

It is not uncommon for autistic women to study their special interest at university.

The autistic woman can have a life-long ‘special interest’ (sometimes more than one) that she engages intently for hours. This kind of hyper-focus is called monotropism, and whilst it can reduce adaptability, such as shifting from one task to another easily, it allows for long periods of time and concentration on interests. It is not uncommon for autistic women to study their special interest at university; the love of researching has led to PhDs. Some special interests include, but are not limited to, speaking, reading, painting, knitting, acting, gardening, and teaching.

Interests

Talking

The Autistic woman can be quiet until asked about what she loves to do.

The autistic woman can be quiet until asked about what she loves to do. After a while, the asker can regret their question because the autistic individual can talk about their special interest to no end. This kind of prolonged speaking is called monologuing. She’s usually chapter and verse on her favourite subject, talking ardently, and often won’t recognise the desire others may have for her to stop talking. Since the autistic woman can find social reciprocity demanding, she can indulge in taking centre stage.

Masking

The Autistic woman can mask well. You probably won't know she's doing it.

Masking, in general, is a confusing concept - a distinction should be made between the ways that personal development classes teach about masking and the way autistic women mask. For the autistic woman, masking can mean not showing confusion in a social setting, focusing above or below your eyes, and looking as if she’s processing the flow of information during a conversation when she’s not doing so entirely. That’s about being well-mannered and accepted, not inauthentic, for honesty in every situation is commonly one of the autistic person’s greatest abilities. For the autistic woman, full processing of information happens later, not always in the moment.

Masking

Social

In company, it is normal for the autistic woman to turn to household tasks abruptly.

Autistic women are more adept at socialising than their male counterparts, in one respect, because of masking. However, the autistic woman is not as sociable as she may appear to be. It takes effort to socialise, effort that the autistic woman attempts to hide, again, to be well-mannered and accepted. Mixing with others requires full processing of information in the moment, the filtering out of other sounds and goings-on to focus on the person speaking, which non-autistics do with little effort. Naturally, this is arduous for the autistic person, exponentially so when faced with more than one talker. Moreover, she can be bombarded by too many sounds at once. In social settings, every sound is amplified, more so the longer she tries to keep abreast. In company, it is normal for the autistic woman to turn to household tasks abruptly. She may jolt to her feet while you’re talking to her and start opening cupboards, rattling pans or cleaning; she may leave the room often. She does these things for a well-earned break, for the relief of overwhelm, not out of compulsion or because she’s sick of the people she’s with. Regardless of how much the autistic woman may look forward to meeting with family and friends, listening to people talk can be a sport; hence, feeling overwhelmed and drained during and after socials. That side of autism may bring about disappointment in some autistic women, the necessity to periodically withdraw from those she loves.

Appearance

Comfortable clothes is about reducing sensory issues for ease of mood.

For the autistic woman, preferring comfortable clothes and shoes is pretty typical. It isn’t about immaturity, trying to look youthful or dressing like a boy; it’s about sensory issues, reducing them for comfort and ease of mood. This may mean she has an intolerance of clothing seams; they feel like they’re cutting into her skin; she may avoid certain fabrics that feel like they’re scratching her skin. Those on the spectrum will frequently remove clothing labels because they irritate. Wearing little to no jewellery is common for autistic women; she may loathe dressing up, feeling bizarre in a frock. She may dislike wearing make-up because it feels like plaster on her face. She may think that beautifying is a waste of time or unnecessary, believing inner beauty is more important. Many autistic individuals opt for a wash-and-wear hairstyle, though some strive for perfection in this way and go nowhere dishevelled. She may struggle to wear a bra, the first thing she rips off when she returns home.