A W E

Autistic women are more adept at socialising than their male counterparts, in one respect, because of masking. However, the autistic woman is not as sociable as she may appear to be. It takes effort to socialise, effort that the autistic woman attempts to hide, again, to be well-mannered and accepted. Mixing with others requires full processing of information in the moment, the filtering out of other sounds and goings-on to focus on the person speaking, which non-autistics do with little effort. Naturally, this is arduous for the autistic person, exponentially so when faced with more than one talker. Moreover, she can be bombarded by too many sounds at once. In social settings, every sound is amplified, more so the longer she tries to keep abreast. In company, it is normal for the autistic woman to turn to household tasks abruptly. She may jolt to her feet while you’re talking to her and start opening cupboards, rattling pans or cleaning; she may leave the room often. She does these things for a well-earned break, for the relief of overwhelm, not out of compulsion or because she’s sick of the people she’s with. Regardless of how much the autistic woman may look forward to meeting with family and friends, listening to people talk can be a sport; hence, feeling overwhelmed and drained during and after socials. That side of autism may bring about disappointment in some autistic women, the necessity to periodically withdraw from those she loves.